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Spawny Mark
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Saturday Premier League Hot Take

Man City/Chelsea:

A bit of a snoozer between the current top two of the premier league featuring two of the most expensive signings of the offseason. R. Lukaku nor Jack Grealish have done fuck all this season except for find themselves in hot water with their team’s management. It’s hard to say which has been the worse signing at this point but I’m likely to give a slight edge to Jack. In other news, I wonder if Raheem Sterling’s performance was strong enough to earn him a spot on the English Olympic Diving team.

Norwich City/Everton:

If there was a moment that might symbolize the season for Everton, it would be the own goal by Michael Keane. It has been a comedy of errors this season for them and that was the biggest oops I’ve seen in a while. This could be the straw that breaks the back of the Toffee front office. In fact, it would not surprise me if by the time you read this, Rafa Benitez is clearing out his desk. Special shout out to Richarlison with that lovely goal to make the score line look respectable.


For me this match was about time. As in: It’s about time Wolves were awarded a penalty kick (1st in 11 months,) it’s about time Wolves get a favorable VAR decision (1st of the season,) it’s about time Wolves scored more than one goal, it’s about time Adama Traore got on the score sheet. A great performance only marred by yet another free kick worldly by James Ward Prowse.


Two teams facing potential regelation battle it out to the only imaginable conclusion: a draw. The only question I had after this one was who had the better goal: Allan Saint-Maximan, with his “how in the hell did he keep the ball and score” moment or Joao Pedro sacrificing his body and willing the ball in the back of the net with the game winding down. Stat that only I find interesting: Newcastle has lost a total of 21 points from winning positions this season.

Man U/Aston Villa:

Eddie Howe got to show off his new acquisitions: Lucas Digne with the start was phenomenal, running end to end and doing all the little things he is known for. Rafa, you could have had some of that. But that performance was overshadowed by the timely substitution of Phillipe Coutinho. Wow, wow, wow! I know it was against that very weak backline of Man United, but that Ramsey-Coutinho connection could turn out to be something special. Also, without the giant presence of Ronaldo, there was a Bruno Fernandes sighting.

Solanum Linnaeanum
Jan 16, 2022

Loving this review format Mark. More of this in future please.



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